Finding the balance between thought and feeling. Science and spirituality. My world and reality. Belief versus truth. Letting go of control. . . but not ignoring the inevitable works of our society. . . er. . . .

“There is a place for truthfully observing and critiqueing something we perceive as distasteful without engaging in gossip or defamation, or becoming a negative person ourselves. Life is complicated—gorgeous and gruesome at the same time. To insist that everything is always beautiful is to exist out of balance. Disregard the wicked—yes—but live not under the illusion that wickedness and ignorance disappear when you do so.” – 270 Degrees: Getting Stuck in Transformational Process


You think this is just another day in your life? It’s not just another day. It’s the one day that is given to you…today. It’s given to you. It’s a gift. It’s the only gift you have right now and the only appropriate response is gratefulness.

~ Brother David Steindl-Rast, from Louis Schwartzberg’s TEDxSF talk “Gratitude”


“Developing intolerance, becoming the person you seek to meet and showing up fully require a major shift in the way you interact with and relate to the people you date.” – Three Keys To A Healthy Relationship

On the note that I can’t quit reading articles or thinking about life. . .I would like to make this less. . . like a feeling of work and challenge. I know I asked for the challenge. . .but I’d now like to not feel like the challenge is challenging. . .be able to ride the waves with less resistance. . .and be able to balance light and analytical. Hmm

Fed Up with Challenge

How to Avoid Falling Under the Spell of A Human – I didn’t even read this one yet. . . .

Feeling pulled in various directions. Looking for that grounded sensation. . .
Energy levels coming back a little. still tired but not exhausted. Getting up at or before 7 am again. yeaaaaa. Power ups throughout the day include random juggling, cartwheels, and slowly improving attempts at handstands. . . Had the thought today after going outside and doing multiple sets of cartwheels on the sidewalk outside of work. . .feeling dizzy and a bit drunk. . .I was anxious, annoyed, … maybe I can’t identify all the feelings but it was similar to those feelings when I did use smoking as my escape. Not every cigarette was an escape. . .but some definitely had these emotions attached to them. During the cartwheels I felt a bit giddy that I was doing cartwheels in public. . .and taking pride in my strange and peculiar behavior upon any of those random eyes that may have seen me.

I think I shall start keeping a joke diary – – Inspired by Mitch Hedberg’s Documentary and snapshots of his Joke notebooks. I think I like Mitch Hedberg cause he reminds me of my funny side. . .I could totally see myself lying on stage laughing my ass off.. . . at myself.

I’m also still holding a grudge against my mother for grounding me when I was supposed to go to that show with Travis. . . grrrrrrof course. . you know. . .I should take responsibility for my actions and note that I MIGHT have been grounded for a good reason. . . ahem. . . I don’t know


Screw you hormones. I blame you for my wide array of emotions. Although I do thank you for being right on time so that I can attribute my mental insanity to something other than my own contributions to life…
Feeling the same as July 22…where I wanted to start a cussing war and throw things. While it is frustrating that i can no longer claim that I do not experience PMS..The identification of it is comforting. An excuse, I’ll take it